New twitter @yancongmin

Mistakenly clicked a link which would get assess to my twitter account and send spams to my followers. So sorry to all!

Now, the old account has been deactivated. But it takes 30 days to clear all information. Plz just unfollow it to keep yourselves from spams’ harassment.

The lesson learned is curiosity does kill people! Therefore, do restrain yourself.

I just don’t give a damn sh*t

As time goes by, we grow up little by little. After we are hurt every time, we learn to hold back, little by little. In the end, we dare not give without taking.

You said I’ve changed so much, which is not all wrong. You can say so, but I can also say that I’ve always been who I am. It’s just I don’t care what you think of me anymore.

I’m no longer eager to let you know about my things. In addition, what you think of me has been none of my business since long before.

So thanks for backing off at that time. And thanks to you leaving, I’m living a better life now.

原来我一直都身在福中不知福

最近好多女性朋友找我谈心，感情方面，有男朋友的烦恼，没有男朋友的也烦恼。其实我挺好奇大家怎么都跑我这儿来了呢。。难道I look like a person who’s good at dealing with relationship issues? …

当然，我还是很乐意当知心姐姐的，这表示大家很信任我哈！话说回来，有男朋友的那群女生，分了手的觉得寂寞，想分手的却又不舍得多年的感情，好好谈着的又时不时吵个小架冷战两天。。感情这东西，真麻烦；在女人身上，尤其麻烦。。。

从她们的口中，我见识了形形色色的男朋友，言听计从的、傻得可爱的、控制欲强的、害怕付出的。。有long distance几年回到一个城市后反而不能make it的；也有在一起很多年感觉慢慢变淡而收场的；还有女生崇拜偶像般看待男朋友，从而对他说的话无甚判断力的。。。

见多听多了，也就渐渐地见怪不怪了。怎么样性格背景为人处事的男人都好，if you do care about your girlfriend, she can feel it since you would be listening to her, remembering what she ever said, and doing things only to see her smile even if they are just some tiny little things. We girls can tell it whether we really mean something to you guys. Even if we say nothing, we know it all the way.

听着朋友们的故事，想到我自己，想到他，原来我比我想象中要幸运的多。不是没有complain过，总觉得还不够，I kinda took it for granted that you tried to see me as much as possible, you drove to my home to give me medicines only because I told you over the phone I didn’t feel comfortable in my throat, and you staying up listened to me talking nonsense in spite of your tiredness and sleepiness after a long day.

原来，you’ve already done a better job than a lot of others do. I should be feeling content with you, with us, and treasure the moments we are together.

错过，也是一种幸福

最近身边好友分分合合，有5年感情说断就断了的，也有稳定到大家都认为可以结婚的突然跟我说I’m single now，当然也有一开始在众人面前秀甜蜜现在却搂着另外一个女孩的。。。

怎么说呢，恋爱分手是常事，种种原因不想再努力在一起了，那就分吧。如果在一起不能再带给自己快乐了，也还是分开的好。It’s not bad to be alone. I let you go, meanwhile I get back my world.

我不评价其他人的恋爱关系，每个人相处都有自己的模式，并无对错。当别人对我的感情和感情观指手划脚高谈阔论时，我同样不置可否。I’m the person who know best about my relationships and feelings. I’m the person who can truly tell whether I’m happy or not. So I couldn’t care less about what other people think and talk about me.

不过今天我在这里是想说，分开，也不尽然是坏事。很多的分开，不见得是真的哪一方made a mistake。也许只是一方犹豫了，而另一方却没能made more efforts去挽留；也许只是一方failed to fixed the things when he/she still had the chance, even if he/she could have as long as he/she said it out.

这样的分开，姑且称之为错过吧。You could have made it but you just missed it. 在我看来，错过了就无谓再挽回，不是恩断义绝，只是past is past. It’d be wise to look forward and move on. 重来一次，谁又能保证不是再一次的错过。。。

就当这次的错过是你人生的历练，因为它，你更了解自己，知道自己想要的和自己愿意给的。没有他/她的错过，你也不会如此意识到现在的他/她的好，因此你更加珍惜，希望这一次不再错过。

错过，每每再回想起，应该是温暖的，没有遗憾。尽管物是人非，但最初心里点点滴滴的感动，总是会在。错过，也可以是一种幸福。。。

To Care About

Nine out of ten times when a girl is pissed off by her boyfriend, it is not because she doubts his love for her, but he fails to show his care about her.

We are not upset since you are too busy to see us. There are so many things going before girlfriends, like family, career, even friends. We are upset since we don’t see your efforts in trying to make some time for us.

Should you care enough, you could definitely make some plans even if you were as busy as Bill Gates.

We are not upset since you go out having fun with your friends. Everyone is entitled to his own social life. We are upset since you don’t call after the parties. It’s not that we worry if you get to know new girls, we just want to make sure you make it home safely in case you get drunk.

Should you care enough, you would make the call knowing we are expecting it and try not to get drunk because we will worry otherwise.

We are not upset since you don’t keep in touch every day when you are out of town. It is understandable that it’s not convenient to get access to internet or make international calls due to time differences and lack of internet facilities somewhere. We are upset since you ignore the messages from us and don’t even reply.

Should you care enough, you could have figured out how much we want to be connected with you and your life. You wouldn’t have kept us waiting and checking our phones just like idiots.

We are not upset since you still keep in touch with your ex-girlfriends or you still see them from time to time. Ex is past and past already means nothing. We are upset since you hide it from us that you still contact your ex. You should have nothing to hide if past really means past to you.

Should you care enough, you would have let us know in advance and told us not to worry anything.

So guys, next time if you upset your girlfriend, do not blame her for being unreasonable instantly. Think it over yourself whether you have cared enough about how she feels.

The Help

The film is about a young white woman, Skeeter, who decides to write a controversial book from the point of view of the black maids, “the Help”, in Jackson, Mississippi during “Civil Rights era” of America in the early 1960s. It also features two black maids, Aibileen and Minny in their stories about what they are experiencing and faced with as the work for white families.

Here I don’t want to vigorously criticize racial discrimination. It is not the serious theme of this film that moves me. Instead, it moved me to tears because it feels real and warm. And I still remember the several scenes where my tears came out.

After Skeeter interviewed Aibileen and Minny about their experiences as maids, her book “The Help” got published. Though the book is a success, Aibileen is fired by the housewife whom she worked for just due to her part in the book. When she is saying goodbye to the white kid she takes care of, the little girl begs her to stay with her innocent words and tone. Aibileen gives the kid a hug, holds her face and tells her “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.” just as what she always says to the girl, while I can see tears being held in Aibi’s eyes right the moment.

Despite all the prejudice and unfairness she faces in the family including that she even isn’t allowed to use the bathroom the white family use in the house, she loves the kid all the way, as same as the way she loved her own boy. I don’t know about the feeling being raised by a maid. But I can tell what a big part it plays to let kids know they are important when they are still kids. Black maids didn’t get the respect they deserved back then, but they still give LOVE regardlessly.

Another scene is when Minny after fired went to work for Celia, a white girl from less genteel quarters who was shunned by almost everyone in town, Minny had meals at a separate table – “following the rules” but Celia came to join her at her tinny table. And near the ending where Celia and her husband recognizes Minny’s help for Celia and for their life, the husband invites Minny to sit with them together at the fancy dining table. Finally they become a family and more importantly, Minny, after all her grievance, tears and even hurt, gained the respect she wishes for.

I never care about what people think about me as long as they are not who I care about. But I have to admit sometimes it’s just so hard to give no shits – people talk. Even the way they look at you does not give you a good time. To make it worse, when they talk about something you are shamed at, you just want to hide or disappear.

It takes courage not to care. Only after that can you tell your own story.

The 4th Mid-Autumn Festival in Hong Kong

It’s the day after Mid-Autumn Festival today which is a public holiday in Hong Kong. Thanks to my days-off on Mondays and Wednesdays, suddenly I got a five-day holiday. And out of these 5 nights, I spent 3 with my dear friends!

This is the 4th Mid-Autumn Festival in Hong Kong without family. Honestly I don’t have strong attachments to this traditional Chinese festival, but still it is important to be with family on that day, I cannot see the chance I can have mooncakes with my parents these years though. Luckily I have my friends around, Amity, Daisy, Lisa, Joyce, etc. We gossip, we laugh, we drink, we confide. With you gals, I don’t feel lonely at all!

And this year, I’m lucky to have him around. Although he couldn’t have dinner with me for the festival, it is enough that he called as soon as he came back to HK.

I dare not say he’s more important to me than my family, but he’s the one I go to whenever I need a listener or just a shoulder. I’m not perfect at all in front of him – I say stupid words, I manifest my feeling of insecurity, and I behave possessively. But after all, I am who I am when being with him, I can be who I am when being with him.

So, Mid-Autumn Festival (honey called it Mooncake Festival lol), still we should go to home if we can make it. It’s also not bad to be with friends – like all the other days when you don’t need to go to work – as well as the one you love and care about.

Understand

Why is it so hard to find someone who is willing to listen to me and understands me?

I have friends to whom I can talk about everything. Sadly they don’t really share my feelings. In their eyes, I’m strong enough to handle all my things. I’m an advise-provider to them instead of an advise-seeker.

But like all other people, I also need a listener who can be there for me when I feel lonely and helpless.

Today some friends said they regard themselves maturer than they appear to be. I didn’t concur. On the contrary, I may be even weaker than I think, which is exactly why I’ve been always afraid to get attached. Because I’m not sure whether I can afford to be hurt.

Carpe Diem

We plan things before taking action. We are afraid of bad consequences so that we choose not to give it a try. We set expectations but usually get disappointed in the end.

It is pathetic that we people always bother ourselves. Time flies. Life is so short and unpredictable. Everything can be good today but turn bad suddenly tomorrow.

We should go for whatever we want, seize the day, but not hold any expectation. Thus it would be easier for us to enjoy life and feel the real happiness.

Gathering with my classmates in junior high school

Time flies so fast – we’ve known one another for more than 10 years, which is half of our age!

This summer, each of us goes on our own ways towards various directions. Some go overseas for further study, some start their career, some stay at the same university for postgraduate. It is for sure that we will be scattered all over the world in the next 10 years.

Luckily, there’s always something unchanged whenever and wherever we are – our friendship and support!

It be a crazy gathering. We talked, we gossiped, we laughed. We thought of the old days and we looking forward to the new days ahead.

We gossiped. We confessed who we had crush on back then, something I didn’t sense

We farewelled at last but we’ll definitely be in touch thanks to the Internet.